1. Opened a can of worms!
My (7 year old) son demanded I eat a worm, when I refused he persisted. So I told him I would if he did it first. Of course I was thinking he’d give up and I’d be off scott-free. Needless to say I didn’t win that bet and I ended up having a worm for an appetizer.
photo via wikia
2. I want to be like Daddy.
I walked in on my (four year old) daughter in her room with no shirt on, pinching her nipples. I yelped “Girl what are you doing!?!?” and she replied “I want earrings here like daddy, I was seeing if it hurt.” Oh my goodness I could not stop laughing.
photo via everytattoo.com
3. Trash Mouth
My (2 year old) son was walking around chewing on something but every time I’d get him to open his mouth nothing would be there. I had no food out and there was nothing he could get into, or so I thought. After a while I caught him in the kitchen, eating scraps out of the trash can. Ewww! I said “why are you eating out of the trash?” and he said “still good”.
photo via kids.nationalgeographic.com
4. Silly Kid
I woke up one morning to find our 10 year old daughter sleeping under the bunk beds with a pillow and blanket. I woke her up to put her on the bottom bunk and when I questioned her about it later her response was “This is my home now, can I sleep there again tonight?” I chuckled and said “No, you’re sleeping on the bed.”
photo via memegenerator.net
5. Boob Fascination
When our daughter was a little over a year old she had a boob obsession. She used to go up to family and even strangers and point to their breasts and tell them “I like your booboo’s!” (that is what she called boobs). It was slightly embarrassing, but looking back it is funny.
photo via wanna-joke.com
We were riding in the car one day and my husband and I were talking. One of the kids in the back kept interrupting us so I said “stop being rude”, immediately following my (3 year old) daughter breaks out singing “Why you gotta be so rude?” (by Magic) It was hysterical.
photo via rude board on pinterest
7. Pet Pig
One night at dinner my (5 year old) son said “If we get a farm I want to have a pet pig” and I asked him why? He said “So I can call him Sausage.” He had such a serious face and we couldn’t help but to burst out in laughter.
photo via animalia-life.com
8. Stranger Danger
We’ve gone over it for 3 years and it’s still taking the younger kids time to understand. One grocery store visit my (4 year old) daughter starts talking to a stranger (but they didn’t really reply other than a wave). Our (5 year old) son snaps at her “Stop talking to strangers”, and she said back “but they won’t talk to me”. He said “that’s because you’re a stranger and you’re not suppose to talk to strangers, so they won’t talk to you.” That’s incredible logic from a five year old. It did strike me funny at the time, but it’s more serious. We’re still working on it but I’m glad he’s finally catching on.
photo via vinitapd.com
9. Bizarre Sight
When my daughter was 3 years old she was showing us that the two rocking chairs on the porch were rocking back and forth slightly. When we asked her why she was showing us, she said “because they wanted me to.” We said “who wanted you to?” and she said “grandma guy and poppy.” We got chills and didn’t say anything else about it. Grandma Guy died before she was born so she didn’t know her let alone know what she looked like and poppy had been passed for maybe around 6 months (she knew him). A few weeks later the family was going through some old family photos from when my grandparents and parents were young and we were kids. My daughter pointed to one of the pictures and said “that’s the lady from the rocking chair with Poppy.” It was Grandma Guy. We just stared at each other with our jaws dropped.
When our son was six years old he coincidentally had 4 loose teeth in front at one time. He asked my husband to pull one and then kept coming back to him to pull the others. They came out easily and he was glad to have them out. He came up to me with his almost toothless grin and I couldn’t help but to say “oh my if you lose anymore teeth right now you’ll need dentures!”
photo via scifi.stackexchange.net
These stories are all original “You’re kidding me” segments from our real family experiences shared for your entertainment. Thank you for reading our Weird and Funny kid experiences, brought to you by Inside the Stones blog @ madhouse-entertainment.com