Eccentric Kids: Breaking Gender Norms

My son’s LOVE to sing and dance and dress up and play with dolls with their sisters. They are a bit eccentric and we’re okay with that.

We don’t have the mindset that it’s wrong to let boys wear dresses or hairbands or high heels or playing with dolls if that’s what gives them joy and amusement. If our daughters want to play in the dirt, wear tough fake tattoos or wear t-shirts, ball caps and jeans instead of dresses that’s fine too. We don’t believe it’s going to lead them down the road to homosexuality because we don’t believe that’s a choice, we believe it’s genetic. (not trying to burst anyone else’s bubble of beliefs)

I don’t see anything wrong with my son’s looking up to princesses as heroins. I don’t see anything wrong with letting my son’s prance around in girl clothes and sing to their favorite songs, especially the Disney ones. I don’t see anything wrong letting them play with barbies, dolls, tea-parties, dollhouses, or (girly) toys and even girl clothes the like.

My son’s just like my daughter’s like to have their nails painted. They like their hair brushed. They like doing just about everything their sister’s like doing and vice versa. They enjoy playing with their sisters even if it means turning away from their trucks, blocks, monsters and super hero figures… even though most the time it’s all included.

When Disney’s Frozen came out, my boys (ages 3 and 5) were obsessed. They wanted to be the Snow Queen. One of their favorite pass-times was dressing up as Elsa and singing “Let It Go” through the entire house, that movie was on repeat all day long. (thankfully that has subsided lol but it was still cute, the photo below was my 3 year old singing)

It’s all the same things I used to do with my brother and he was the only boy with three sisters, so a lot of the time if he wanted someone to play with it had to include “girl” things. I know my children’s likes and dislikes will change over time. We have 3 girls and 3 boys, for now we’re just letting them free-play as they like.

It breaks my heart to know that so many people including parents shame children for having an imagination and innocence to playing dress-up and like things that may not be “normal” for their gender.

One day my son said he liked pink and my other son said “You can’t like pink that’s a girl color.” And my husband chimed in “One of my favorite colors is pink.” He’s tried to explain to the children that colors don’t mean boy or girl. Just like toys aren’t specifically meant for girls if a boy likes it. Pink or not. Since then they felt okay to say they likes purples and pinks and turquoise. I don’t want them to feel like they have to hide behind what society thinks is right for their gender. I don’t want my kids to have to feel like they have to hide who they are or who they want to be.

I will let my children express themselves in play and dress-up all day long and will not tolerate anyone telling them they can’t. Telling them “they need to stop, they aren’t girls”, “get him out of that dress, he’s not gay” really boils my blood. Who said they were trying to be girls in the first place? Just because they have fun and are breaking the gender norms? I wish some people would stop being so old fashion, closed-minded, molding children to be sexist and pushing their gender views on them. I will never tell my son that he can’t do something because he’s not a girl and I will never tell my daughters they can’t do something because they are not a boy. (a part from reproductions of course)

We do a lot of play activity that is “all gender” because it helps both our girls and boys play equally without the anxiety or pressure from the stereotypes of society and what’s expected of them in the world. If they all want to play in dirt, they do. If they want to paint their nails, they do. If they want to do their hair, they do. If they want to play dress up, they do. If they want to draw fashion outfits, they do. If they want to ride bikes, they do. If they want to go swimming, they do. If they want a tea party, they do. If they want to play barbies, they do. If they want to play trains or cars, they do. If they want to bake, they do. If they want to help cook, they do. If they want to play sports, they do. If they want to dance, they do. If they want to sing, they do. I can’t stress this enough, I will always tell my children they can do whatever they want to do regardless their gender.

I don’t believe in shaming boys for being a little more sensitive than others or girls for being more tough than others. There is a difference in exploring the different gender roles that they are learning as children than a child who truly is unhappy with being the gender they are because they know and feel they are different. Even so not necessarily meaning they are homosexual, but even if they were, I would accept that with open arms as well. I will always accept my children for who they are. Straight, Homosexual or Indifferent. I do not believe letting them play as children innocently do is going to effect that in the slightest.

 

This picture was after they were walking through the house laughing and giggling and my daughter told me to take a picture. Afterwards they did their own fashion show and included 2 of their other siblings to dress in the opposite attire. Silly kids. All in good fun. You can just see the joy they have in just having fun and that’s just CLOTHES! The positive things are: they were playing peacefully together not pulling each others hair out, they were laughing and smiling, they were bonding, they were happy. Isn’t that all that matters?

 

Proud free-play mom all the way!

#freeplay